The Secret Hotwife
Squirting, 17-deep orgies, and the best method for tackling an eye-wateringly enormous penis… My friends, you’ve never heard girl talk - real girl talk - until you’ve spent a Saturday afternoon hanging out with a group of women who are all in the lifestyle.
That’s right, last Saturday - instead of running kids around to various sports and music lessons - I left J holding down the fort of our vanilla life to drive to North Lincolnshire and join six gorgeous women for a day strutting around in lingerie and heels in a beautiful stately home.
Ahh it’s a hard Hotwife life…
In all seriousness, a year ago I’d never done a boudoir shoot, and had no idea what - if anything - I was missing. I’ve always had a bit of an exhibitionist streak (...yes, that’s grown a lot in recent months as we’ve explored the delicious debauchery of this lifestyle…) and loved the idea of celebrating my body and embracing my sexuality; putting it unapologetically front and centre in that way. So, when J and I first started talking about exploring this lifestyle together, it was one of the first things I booked for myself. It looked like so much fun, and that first shoot - in February 2024 - sealed the deal. In the months since, I’ve done a couple of similar shoots, but had never previously done anything in a group, so when Lust & Lace - an exclusive photography business dedicated to capturing intimate and sexy moments in unforgettable venues - advertised their upcoming event, I knew I wanted in.
Fair to say it was a different vibe walking into one of the stately home’s bedrooms at the weekend to find beautiful women with bouncy hair and big smiles, all in various states of undress and each one surrounded by items of lingerie in every colour - and all manner of sexy props. I didn’t know any of them, outside of recognising a couple of familiar faces from various socials and parties, but despite my being the newcomer, they were all warm and welcoming and, before I knew it, my bag was spilled open on the bed next to theirs, an avalanche of fishnet, lace, and thigh-high boots.
The truth is that getting a group of lifestyle women together for a day of sexy photography is much like getting any other group of women together for any other reason. You could almost be fooled into thinking we were a bunch of pals getting ready for a night out. There were giggles, kindness, humour, and a lot of support as we all slipped into our first outfit; the ladies all bigging each other up, and complimenting everything from outfit choices, and nail colours, to beautiful boobs and bums.
Within minutes of meeting for the first time, we were helping each other fasten up corsets and clip on hold-ups, snipping telltale labels out of bras, lending each other riding crops and handcuffs for our first shots down in the dungeon, and debating whether crotchless was ‘too much’ for photos. (It’s not, it turns out, as long as you’re careful with leg and hand placement…)
In the centre of it all was Phillipa from Lust & Lace, a beaming smile on her face as she made sure everyone was comfortable and happy, gently cajoling everyone along in order to keep the day - which consisted of photographing five women, and four costume changes in three hours - moving along at a good pace.
What a sight we must have looked - shiny hair and red lips, strutting past uniformly-hung paintings of chaste men and women in elegant robes and heavy dresses buttoned right up to the chin; we in our tottering heels, bums and nipples protruding through various materials as we descended the stairs of the old house, heading down into its depths towards the cellar.
The Vault was cool and moody, pretty twinkly lights strung along the ceiling, and dusty raw exposed brick walls and floors. Perfect dungeon vibes, and we’d all chosen our first outfit accordingly, opting for leather, fishnet, and plenty of bare flesh. On one of the tall tables was a collection of whips, riding crops, paddles, and restraints.
“Help yourselves,” one of the ladies said brightly, indicating the hoard. God I love this lifestyle.
As we took it in turns to lay, backs arched, boobs thrust out, on tables and floors, and adopted sexy power poses in the Vault’s big archway, conversation turned to that evening when some of the women were heading to Purple Mamba in Nottingham for Corruption’s first party of the year. As we delved into outfit choices for the night, as well as potential play partners, two of the ladies started telling a story about another recent sex party where they’d both ended up in a bedroom with 17 people in it (odd numbers matter not even slightly in this lifestyle…). My friends, you’ve never heard girl-talk - real girl talk - until you’ve spent a Saturday afternoon hanging out with a group of women who are all in the lifestyle. For the next half-hour we talked squirting - my eyes are officially opened - orgies, and the best methods for tackling an eye-wateringly enormous penis, all with the same casualness other women might discuss the latest series of Love Island. (I have a feeling Love Island would be too tame for these girls.) Just when I think I’ve seen quite a lot, I meet people that make me feel like a newbie all over again. But God, that’s a big part of the fun; every day is a learning day, and there were plenty of giggles and stories shared.
We changed outfits then as we moved our way through the house, from the sexy pink room, to the pretty blue room, and finally to the vintage white room. In every room, the support was amazing, as we shared little tricks - did you know that, in a pinch and in the absence of nail glue, a blob of lipgloss will hold a nail on pretty well for a short while? - and helped each other with posing (“Stretch your neck out a bit,” “Try lifting your right arm a little higher,” “Twist your bum more towards the camera”).
Pretty soon we were also picking each other’s phones up to get some sneak peeks and behind the scenes photos for one another as we were bent over in some sexy position or other. An hour ticked quickly by, then two, and finally - thousands of photos later - Phillipa clicked the final shot and declared us done! Thanks to my hoard of new pals, my phone also had dozens of photos on it of our afternoon; certainly enough to give J a little sneak preview when I got home.
We headed back to the first bedroom, our bodies feeling like we’d just finished a workout at the gym, thanks to all that back arching, booty popping, and general contortion. Boudoir photoshoots are so much fun, and so empowering, but nobody said they were easy. Still, we’re all confident our aching muscles will be worth it when we see Phillipa’s final photos. It’s been a fantastic afternoon, and we all agree that all women should have the opportunity to try this, at least once.
Do you know what has been one of the best takeaways for me, as a straight woman coming into this lifestyle? The community of women. There’s nothing quite like the support of other women, and I’ve been lucky enough to meet and befriend some absolutely incredible ladies in this past year. The lifestyle is filled with women of every age, every shape, every size, and without exception I’ve found them to be each other’s biggest cheerleaders. There’s no competition, no bitchiness, no cliques. Just gorgeous, sexy, liberated creatures having the time of their lives.
“Being in this lifestyle is like having your cake and eating it too,” says one of the women, as we all slip back into our regular clothes, pulling on jeans and jumpers in preparation for the cold outside.
“And it’s so funny,” she laughs. “Because, I find myself chatting to vanilla people about their normal weekend plans, and when it’s their turn to ask me what I’m up to, I never know what to say. Imagine their faces if I told them the truth!”
We all share a smile. It’s something we can all relate to, and a big part of why it’s so much fun spending time with other lifestyle women you can speak so openly to, even if you’ve just met them. I’m incredibly lucky in that my two best friends, though not in the lifestyle themselves, know everything about mine and J’s sexy hobby, and are utterly supportive without an ounce of judgement. But I also know, from speaking to many men, women, and couples this past year, that a lot of people don’t have that, which is a big part of what makes this community element of the lifestyle so important.
“My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for eight years,” says another woman, sitting on the bed next to me, “and we’re honestly the best we’ve ever been - so close and so connected - and there are people that just don’t get that.” She shakes her head in bewilderment as she continues: “They think that, to do this, it must mean your relationship is broken in some way, they assume something has to be missing.”
“God, the very opposite is true,” I chime up, having heard similar things myself, and knowing how far from the truth it is. “You can’t do this, any of it, unless you’re rock solid.”
“Yes, exactly,” the first woman replies, and others around the room are nodding emphatically. “Communication and trust are so key. It makes me nervous when we meet couples at parties who’ve only been dating for a few months. I don’t know how you do this with such a small history and foundation.”
“It’s funny though,” the woman next to me speaks up again. “When you put all the work in as a couple, and get to the place where you’re having such a great time, and it’s so good and so much fun, you just… can’t believe everyone isn’t doing it too.”
“Yes!” we all chorus.
She smiles: “It’s hard not to preach, because you just want to let people in on the secret, on what they’re missing out on. If everyone did this, people would be so happy, there’d be no cheating, no lies, there’d be no need! Every couple I know in this lifestyle says they’re better for it.”
And there it is, the nugget of truth at the centre of it all, the thing that feels like a secret, but isn’t really - we’d all be happy to shout it from the rooftops if we thought people would listen: if your relationship is solid, and you go into this with your eyes open, and committed to communication, you’ve no idea how good it can get. And you can’t know, unless you’re on the other side of it, because the only way to find it out, is to do it. It’s like the Matrix. We’re living in a society of blue pill-poppers, doing things ‘the way they’ve always been done,’ and it’s only through taking a risk, and throwing back one of those red pills, that your eyes are opened and you can finally see the truth about what relationships, what marriage, can truly offer. It’s not for the faint-hearted, but when you stop listening to convention, and start working together to make your own rules, the ones that work for you, you realise how truly remarkable life, and love, and sex can be.
Can you blame us red pill-poppers for feeling just a little smug..?
- The Secret Hotwife
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